It's That Time of Year Again! Back to School!!!

Summer is going to be wrapping up soon, and everyone is talking "Back to School".  The days of avoiding that dreaded word "school" are over!  It's time to start thinking about school supplies, homework, back to school shopping, and routine!

I'm here to help you make this year's transition easy peasy with some simple tips for getting you and your children ready for that big day aka THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!  Let's start this year off with less crying, whining, and fighting in the mornings-during homework-and at bedtime!

Who's with me?

Sign up here for free tips to make this year a success!!!!

I will be talking to you soon!

Dayna

P.S.  Comment below and let me know what your biggest struggle is with getting back into the school routine.

100 Ways to Cope with Stress and A Story On Self-Care

     The more you practice self-care and the better you take care of yourself on a daily basis, the more natural it becomes.  I've had one of the worst weeks in a long time in my life.  My father-in-law had a very serious accident with a chainsaw that could've been the end of all for him.  By the grace of God, he is healing and rehabilitating very well for an 81 year old man.  Through all of this, I have learned that my support system is bigger than I could've ever imagined, and now a week out I see that I have taken care of myself during this journey better than I may have in the past.

"If you practice self-care daily when you aren't facing tremendous stress, you will turn to healthy habits when you do hit a stressful period."

In the past, I may have comforted myself with junk food and quit taking care of myself and only focused on the stressor.  And even though I still struggled to find time to sleep or eat, I did realize I wasn't stuffing my face with junk and I WAS praying frequently and taking lots of deep breaths.  This week, we are traveling for my son's ball team, and I am finding myself seeking quiet spots to de-stress from last week.  I've kept my Bible close.  I have made time to run (my most effective tool to cope with stress).  I am continuing to fill my body with healthy choices, and I've found time to read leisurely.  These are my favorite ways to provide my own self-care, and the view in the mountains helps tremendously!

I encourage my clients to practice daily self-care.  Practice makes perfect right?  Well......practice doesn't really make perfect, but it does make it more natural and creates habit.  If you practice self-care daily when you aren't facing tremendous stress, you will turn to healthy habits when you do hit a stressful period.

"The more you practice self-care and the better you take care of yourself on a daily basis, the more natural it becomes. "

Let's face it, life happens!  It happens to us all, even me.  Difficult struggles do not discriminate.  Be prepared.  Practice your daily self-care.

Click here to sign up for a FREE list of 100 Coping Skills and let me know in the comments which skills you find most helpful.

Dayna

How do we teach our kids patience?

Checking out at the Dollar Store today, I noticed that a movie recently released was already on DVD for sale.  I commented how quickly this came out and the cashier and I had a quick discussion about "the good ole days" when movies took FOREVER to be released.  Then if you waited to see them on DVD, you had to wait until it was in stock at the local video store.  Of course this sparked a conversation about how kids these days have it made.

They NEVER have to WAIT!!!!!!!

They can have instant access to just about anything they want to do or see.  They have instant access to peers and you through text messaging and social media.  They can stream content anywhere they want and don't have to wait through commercials.

I love this life too, but let's face it, it has some downfalls.

Have you noticed how easily kids are bored and how little patience they have?

I mean, they cannot even wait a minute for your conversation to end.  They want immediate responses to everything.  If you don't respond to a text right away, they start texting you multiple texts:

Did you know that patience is not a natural human ability?  It is something we have to practice to get better at.  Do not feel pressured to fall into the new expectations of immediately gratifying your kids' every desire.  Teach them patience!  Their boss will thank you one day!!!

Enjoy the process!

Dayna

Some Examples of My Own Coping Skills

I teach parents that their example is the most important in their child or teen's life.  So with that said, I find it important to set an example for you as well.  How can I teach you to take care of yourself, if I don't take care of myself.  Right? I compare this to going to the doctor and the doctor lecturing you about being overweight, but yet they are overweight themselves and visually  not taking care of themselves.  Or the family member who lectures you about smoking when they chew tobacco or drink heavily.  It's so important to be an example of what you are teaching, and I try to do this in my own work.

Watch the video below to learn different ways I take care of myself and what I use to cope in life!  (This is also a good example of going with the flow and not being a perfectionist.)

https://youtu.be/99Io2iM8SQo

Have a great weekend!

Dayna

What Coping Skills Are and What They Are Not

Today we talked about Coping Skills in my Empowering Teen Girls Group and I wanted to share with you some ideas about what Coping Skills are and what they are NOT. You can watch the video here.

I think people get confused when someone asks them about Coping Skills.

I am  going to talk a minute about what coping skills are and what they are not.

Because I often get this eye roll or people just shut down and say "It doesn't work".  This happens across the board.  Children-Teens-Adults alike.

So what are coping skills?

These are skills you use to help yourself be in control.  They can be calming like a bubble bath- a walk- or soft music.  Or they can be uplifting like your favorite song to sing to loudly in the car (one of my favorite things to do after a long hard day) or being creative with paint or drawing-hanging out with friends and socializing.

Coping skills should be Healthy Activities you enjoy that you can kind of lose yourself in the moment.

What coping skills are not---

They are not a one time fix all solution.  They are not a magic pill to take away all your problems.  They won't do anything to take away your problem!  You still will have to deal with whatever is causing your stress at some point, but coping skills help you manage your emotions and actions around that stress.

I hope this makes sense and helps you understand the importance of having  coping skills.  I will jump back on here next week to give you an example of how I use coping skills to manage stress in my own life.  Because guess what, I need them too!

If you want more information about coping skills, you can visit my website by clicking on the link in this post.  Have a great day!

Screen Time Linked to Inattention

Did you know that your child’s inability to focus on tasks may be due to their screen time?  Researchers are finding out that children who have unlimited screen time are struggling to focus at school and have difficulty following through on tasks.  Symptoms of too much screen time can look like a mental health disorder.  That means that some children are receiving a diagnosis for disorders like ADHD, Disruptive Behavior Disorders, Oppositional Defiance, etc----and the culprit is the SCREEN!!!

I myself can tell a huge difference in my own child when screen time is not limited.  Her grades start dropping, and her Math sheet looks like she chooses “1,2, skip a few”.  Her ability to tolerate small frustrations and her overall attitude changes.  That’s when I have to shape up in my parenting and set those limits.  We will stay away from that screen for several days as a “reset”.  Yes, even I struggle sometimes to keep those limits set.  When life gets busy and she gets away with it, she will definitely take advantage of that screen.

It’s scary to me that so many children and teens have unlimited access 24/7.  They are exposed to so much stimulation and not to mention the inappropriate things they accidentally see when there are no restrictions on screens.  So many negative consequences fall from unlimited and/or unrestricted screen time.

If you notice your child suddenly struggling with disorganization, restlessness, limited focus, and behavior changes, try a screen free zone for a while and see how quickly and how drastic they change.  Your child who seems like they are possessed by someone/something else will return to you.

Have you seen a positive change in your child when limiting screen time?

Dayna

Enrollment for Empowering Teen Girls Group Ends Tomorrow!!!

Don't miss your chance to enroll your teen!  

What is Group?

I've been working hard to get the word out about my Empowering Teen Girls Group that starts April 12th.  Throughout this process, I am understanding that unless your teen has had some sort of experience that has led to intensive treatment, you and your teen may  not know what group is.

Parents who have teen who have experienced group have stated to me "my teen was in group when they were hospitalized and loved it".  Or "group really helped _____ when she was at an inpatient facility".  Group is often used in mental health inpatient facilities as a means to intensify the therapeutic process while undergoing observation and individual therapy.  But, group is not always meant to be intensive.

Group should also be used to meet needs in the community.  It can be a great supplement to meet individual needs of multiple people in the community.  Group is used to help multiple individuals address the same problem while feeling less alone in their efforts.  For instance, many parents may be feeling alone in their struggles with their teen or unsure of how to handle changes or to know what is normal versus what is a problem.  Group would be a place they could find support and encourage each other in their efforts.

The purpose of group is to be a supplement or alternative to individual therapy.  Group can be used with individual therapy as a place to practice skills or as a place to process life experiences.  It can also be used on its own (without individual therapy) as a place of support and connection to others who are experiencing similar things.  It can be a place to find empathy and understanding from peers who are going through similar phases in life.

The purpose of Empowering Teen Girls is to provide a safe place for your teen to connect with other teen girls who understand each other's problems.  A place where they can hear how other girls are dealing with and handling struggles while being guided to make healthy decisions to face these struggle.  A place where girls can learn together to take control of their lives and their emotions.  Girls will be able to see that they have been through similar circumstances and learn new healthy ways to cope with their circumstances.

Group is a place to gain inspiration from peers and to connect and empower each other to be strong and courageous against the many temptations they face.  It will be a place for them to bring the good and bad---discuss how they feel about it---and leave with a healthy solution or encouragement.

If your teen has seen a counselor or multiple counselors and you felt there was no progress, group may be a better alternative.  Or if your teen feels uncomfortable seeing a counselor, group may be the place where they can learn to share by listening and connecting with other teens.  Your teen may already be seeing an individual counselor, and group can be a way for them to practice and reinforce skills they are learning.

Group is not a place that unsafe behaviors will be discussed.  It is not a place to come and meet up with friends.  It is not a place to gossip. It is not a place where unhealthy decisions will be glorified or tolerated (drugs/alcohol, self-harm, sexual behavior, aggression, suicidal thoughts).

Group is a structured environment where you should feel safe and encouraged to be open and be you.

If you have questions about group or would like to schedule an intake for your teen to join group, contact me at daynasykes@daynasykeslpc.com or fill out the form on this page.

Have a Blessed Day!

Dayna

Your Teen Wants You To Know This

Do you wish you could be on the inside listening in on your teen's thoughts?  Well, I've gotten a free pass into some of their thoughts that they wish they could share with you. Watch this video where I share with you inside information I got directly from your teen.

[embed]https://www.instagram.com/p/BgYtEcsFea-/?hl=en[/embed]

I had the privilege of setting up shop at the Smith County Career Day, and I asked teens to "Drop a Post It" answering 1 of these 2 Questions:

1. If you could tell your parents anything, what would it be?
2. If you could change 1 thing in your life, what would you change?

Here is what they said!

[embed]https://www.facebook.com/daynasykeslpc/videos/1561730507277361/?t=2[/embed]

"I wish my parents knew how I feel."

"I wish my parents knew what I'm going through."

"I wish my parents understood the temptations I face."

"I wish my parents knew I (smoke/am depressed/love them/am trying)."

"I wish my parents knew about the bad things that have happened to me".

"I wish my parents knew how your behavior and actions affect me."

"I wish I could change how my parents treat others."

"I wish I could change how I treat others."

"I need to be nicer to people."

"I need to learn how to communicate with my parents."

When you think your teen wants nothing to do with you or shuts you out, know that this is normal.  And know that they really do need you to find a way in.  They want you to know them and understand what they are experiencing.  A reminder for you- Think back to when you were a teen.  What was that like for you?  Now I am not telling you to go share those experiences with your teen, but when you are trying to connect, keep in mind what it was like for you to connect with your own parents.  Have some empathy and understanding.  Don't quit on them!  They need us all!

Blessings,

Dayna

P.S. Empowering Teen Girls Group (ages 13+) starts April 12th!!!  I'm super psyched to get this group started!  If you would like information, Click Here.

Empowering Teen Girls Group Starts in April

Empowering Teen Girls Group will start April 12th! I am so excited to get this group running.  The group will initially run for 8 weeks, and if it is successful, it will continue to be an ongoing group.

This group will target girls 13 and up.

Your teen is a good fit for this group if she...

Struggles to manage her emotions

Has difficulty maintaining healthy friendships

Loses control in the moment

Avoids communicating with you

Seems unhappy and down about life

Groups is a great way for teens to see they are not alone and how others share in the same struggles.  It is a place where girls can learn from each other in a safe and healthy environment, free of judgement.

To enroll your teen, contact daynasykes@daynasykeslpc.com or call 615-683-1111.  Intake is required for pre-enrollment.

Excited to get started!

Dayna

What to Know about Spring Break and Your College Student

Spring Break is here for many colleges and high school students!

For some Spring Break is a time to get away with your family, but for many it is a time to do "whatever you want" with the thought of no consequences.

Here is an article from The Culture Translator for all parents to watch.  The links provided in this article will take you to videos from Fox News.

If you are a parent of a Spring Breaker, this is a must read.  Educate yourself on what your college student will be exposed to and talk to them about making healthy choices so they don't suffer the consequences that many other young college students have.

If you are a parent of a college student, please read this and the associated links.  

The Spring Break Phenomenon (from Culture Translator)

March marks the beginning of spring break season, and this month, hundreds of thousands of students will migrate south for fun and sun in what is now popularly described as “the spring break phenomenon.” In most cases, the scene can only be described as debauchery, and perhaps nowhere else can the nature of hook-up culture be witnessed so explicitly. The ethos, and lie, of spring break is that anything goes, you can do whatever you want with no consequences—go wild, get crazy, get wasted, have sex. What happens on Spring Break stays on Spring Break.

According to a Penn State professor, this annual rite of passage is indicative of a larger social problem among students: “The more you are part of the party atmosphere in the university, the more likely you are to engage in those behaviors during spring break,” including binge drinking and casual sex. A survey of last year’s spring break attendees reveals that 30% of respondents said they had “8 or more” drinks during the day while on spring break, and 65% of respondents said they had at least one sexual experience. It’s a dangerous cocktail of alcohol-induced inhibition, sexual exploitation, and peer pressure that often leads to unwanted and damaging sexual encounters.

But unlike the expectation, Spring Break isn’t a time when the laws of the universe are suspended; every cause still has an effect. And those who participate become slaves of the system, bound by self-destructive norms and the consequences long after their hangovers fade to distant memories.

It doesn’t have to be this way. We can begin teaching our kids at young ages how to rest well and discern the emptiness behind the tempting facade. And even if our kids are already in college, we can still have constructive conversations that point toward the deeper, more fulfilled life. If you’re looking for ways to redeem this annual tradition while equipping your teen to resist the normalization of illicit behavior, check out our “Parent’s Guide to Spring Break.” It’s an incredible read that will help you understand the root issues and how to draw your kids into a grander, more fulfilling narrative.

Previous topics: Search our archives here

Educate your college students on the dangers of the spring break attitude "anything goes".

You may have your own spring break regrets, and this generation is exposed to more than yours was.  Let's protect these young people and provide all the information we can to them.

Blessings,

Dayna

I'm a Failure

So I've really had a come to Jesus moment right smack in the face Very Recently.  I don't usually share about myself, but I think the best way to help others sometimes is to show that even I struggle with life sometimes.

For some reason, when people hear I am a therapist, they get this notion that I have it all together and all figured out and that everything is easy for me and my family.  I don't know where people get that idea that therapists are perfect.  The only perfect being I know of was Jesus, and I surely am not Jesus.

I want you to know the ugly truth...

I fail at things.  Sometimes I fail HARD.  I fail at taking care of myself.  I fail at parenting.  I fail at marriage.  I fail at friendships.  I even fail at work.  And that's OK!  Because I'm allowed to fail.

#1- I am human. 

#2- I AM NOT JESUS.

#3- Failure leads to all the good stuff 

GROWTH---STRENGTH---COURAGE---PEACE---BLESSINGS---ACCEPTANCE

The last couple of years, I have had some weird health issues pop up.  And while some are not common, others are becoming more common in people my age.  Why?  Because we live in a world of constant activity and business.  It's all relevant to self-care.  I am an advocate to others in terms of self-care.  I would like to think my practice is around empowering women, teens, and children to care for themselves.  It's not just about listening for me.  It's about knowing when you leave my office, you have a way to be gentler on yourself and healthier.

However, I have been failing at taking care of my own self.  I got so wrapped up in things I wanted to do and began spiraling into a puddle of self-doubt as health issues arrived.  My body has been telling me to slow down, and it has been trying to signal to me that I'm forgetting the most important thing.  Me.  I quit running consistently, quit eating clean, gained weight, lost progress I had made and all the while ran myself down trying to do too many things and overthinking every step I took.  My parenting became lazy, my marriage became a little distant, and my house was missing attention.

But all it takes is a new day, a new sunrise and me saying I'm done with how things are going.  It's time to put myself first again.

Do you ever find yourself losing this battle?  I know you do, unless you are Jesus...  Life is a marathon, not a sprint.  There are hurdles and injuries and struggles to make it to your goal.  But it is so worth it.  If you find yourself in a losing battle right now, all I have to say is Learn from it, Forgive Yourself, and Move Forward because every day is a new day.

And remember:

#1- I am Human!

#2- I am not Jesus!

#3- Failure leads to all the good stuff! 

I am going to spend some time focusing on self-care and invite you to join me.  Let me know in the comments where you are in your marathon of life.  Are you struggling right now?  Maybe I can help coach you along.

Blessings,

Dayna

Happy Valentine's Day!

It’s Valentine’s Day!  For many this day gets blown way out of proportion and you set really high expectations for your spouse.  You may end up making it a day of frustration and resentment.

Vow to make this day about love and appreciation.  Sure, receiving a dozen roses is nice, but that $100 plus could be better spent right?  Think about the small things you can do for each other to show appreciation.

If you tend to feel frustrated when you see others bragging about their gifts, then take a day off from social media.  There’s nothing worse than agreeing to spend time together and harboring jealousy and resentment because you feel like you aren’t loved because your husband didn’t surprise you with flowers, chocolates, and a massage while you were at work.  Keep in mind that over the top gift giving does not equal a good marriage.  For some couples, Valentine's Day is the only day they show love.  How sad...

Remember that every day is a day to show your love to your spouse.  Valentine’s Day is a day to rekindle your love for one another.

A few simple gifts to avoid the pressure of perfection:

-Make your spouse’s favorite dinner.

-Leave sticky notes around the house for them thanking them for things they bring to the family.

-Put the kids to bed early and spend time watching a movie or your favorite series.

-Sit together on the couch and talk.

-Make a special dessert.

-Write a note highlighting the many reasons you love them.

-Create a playlist of songs you both love and listen to it together.

-Do something on their to-do list for them.

-Give your spouse some alone time (without interruption).

-Draw a bubble bath for your spouse and offer a drink and soft music.

-Go to bed at the same time and spend time talking and connecting.

-Send romantic texts throughout the day letting them know you are thinking about them.

Think about the things that make your spouse feel loved and do something for them that you know will leave them feeling loved and appreciated.  It’s not about expensive and outrageous gift giving.  It’s about your relationship with one another.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Tis the Season to be Jolly, Joyful, and to ROCK MidTerms!!!!

Tis the Season to be Jolly, Joyful, and to ROCK those Midterms!!! Don't forget to help your kids (5th grade and up) study for their exams. For our local schools, midterms are beginning. The best way to beat test anxiety is to BE PREPARED!

For College Students, give them a call to celebrate finishing up Finals!  They could use the encouragement, trust me.

Blessings,

Dayna

2 Major Changes in Parenting That We Struggle With

Sometimes life gets a little overwhelming, and you find yourself just going through the motions and losing enjoyment for things that used to matter.  This is called burnout.  People get burnout at work, which usually happens when you experience high stress over a long period of time with no breaks/vacation/self care days.  People feel burnout in school when they are struggling with a high load/stressful relationship/discouragement/many years of this on repeat.

Today I'm talking about burnout at home, which looks a lot like burnout at work.  You find yourself going through the motions of preparing meals, laundry, cleaning, helping with homework, sickness, driving kids from place to place, cleaning, laundry, cleaning, laundry....You see where I'm going with this?  As parents, it can get overwhelming and just TIRING.  At some point, you find yourself hating all the mundane tasks, thinking negatively about everyone who is not pitching in on the to do list, and ready to just throw in the towel.

2 things have changed in our parenting society.

1 . Moms are still the main caretaker- Moms work full time jobs and lots of times are doing the majority of the work with taking care of the house and children.  (I know there are some families who share-rare, and I know there are families where roles are reversed.)

2. Parents are not teaching there Kids to help out at all!

Why do we continue to live like this?  The stress is unreal.  Moms (just replace with dad if you must) get labeled as "drill sergeant", "nagging", "always in a bad mood", "no fun", "buzz killers".  You know the answer to our problem lies in our homes.  It's right there within your reach.  Family!  It's time for parents to regroup and put your family to use.  Moms-you are not the only ones who can fold laundry, scrub toilets, or run a vacuum.  Divvy up the to do list.

This not only takes the stress of bearing all these responsibilities off of one person, but it teaches everyone else responsibility.  If you want mom to have more energy/time for fun/playful attitudes, help her out.  It's exhausting to come home from a long day of working or grocery shopping+running errands+transporting kids to appointments or practices and know you still have to cook, clean up, do homework, make sure baths are done, wash/dry/fold/put away laundry..... before you can fall in bed.  Let's hand out some of these jobs to our loving family members and remember that it's teaching them responsibility.  Take the time you would be spending doing chores and spend some real quality time with your family.

Give your kids a chore today and ask your spouse for some help with 1 item on your list, then tell me how it went by leaving a comment below.

Top 5 Ways to Motivate Your Teen

Top 5 Incentives for Motivating Your Teen

After years of working with teens and parents, I'm hearing the same story repeat itself within each family...

"How do I motivate my teen?"

"Help!  "I can't get my teen to do anything."

"My teen won't help around the house."

"My teen refuses to study or apply herself at school."

"My teen never follows through!"

You feel like you have no control and you are constantly offering empty threats or endless encouragement that doesn't seem to work.

That's why I've decided to create this Top 5 List of Incentives That Will Motivate Your Teen.  Things that we often forget about.  

First let me start out by explaining what an Incentive is...

An incentive is something you add to increase motivation.  And let's be honest, we all need incentives.  An incentive is not a "bribe", which I hear parents frequently complain that they don't want to feel they have to bribe their teens to do anything.  And an incentive Does Not have to cost you money!

Let's  be real!  For us, an incentive to clean the kitchen every night is that we get up in the morning and have a fresh counter to work on.  Our incentive for cleaning the toilet is that we don't have to worry when we have unexpected guests come in and use our bathrooms.  An incentive for getting up and going to work everyday is that we take home a paycheck.

Teens need incentives too, and they are going to be different from me and you because let's face it, they are not adults so they don't think the same way.

So without further delay, here are my Top 5 Incentives for Motivating Your Teen:

1. Device Privileges

Does your teen get unlimited usage on their/your device?  Why?  Who pays for this service? You do right?!  Limit your teens device usage based on the amount of motivation they have to accomplish assigned tasks.  If they are not doing homework, why do they get free reign to text their friends or surf social media?  Besides, this is often what they are spending time doing vs. doing the tasks you have assigned.  Did they refuse to clean the kitchen?  Well then you refuse to supply their network to their friends.

2. Remove Netflix

How much time is your teen spending binge watching their favorite tv series or movie?  I'd say that removing this distraction would certainly free up some time to let's say do some studying or vacuum the living room.  Right?

3. Friend Time

Teens love to hang out with other teens.  Whether it be in the community or setting up camp in each other's homes binge-watching Netflix while eating up all the food in your house.  Let me remind you that this is a PRIVILEGE, not a necessity.  Limit your teens time with friends when they are not following through with your expectations.

4. Car Privileges

This one is a big one!  Guess what-?!  You do not have to provide your teen with a vehicle, gas money, or a ride if they are not doing their fair share around the house or if they are slacking off at school.  Set an expectation they have to meet in order to receive this privilege.

5. Alone Time

While some alone time is healthy for a teen and privacy is important, this is also one of those privileges you earn.  If your teen is not following through, then their attempts to ignore the family and hideout in their rooms should be stopped.  If the family is pitching in on Saturday to clean up the yard, your teen should not get a free pass to hang out in their room and text friends.  There are lots of ways to solve this solution, and if you need some creative help, let me know.

Is there something more specific you are struggling with?  Comment below and let me know what it is.  I am always looking for ways to create content specific to you.

So there you have it!

P.S. Click Here to receive a free mindfulness activity to help your teen cope with overwhelming emotions.

Mindfulness Activity: 5-4-3-2-1

What is mindfulness?

Sometimes we get overwhelmed with unpleasant feelings..  Mindfulness is a way to recenter our mind and body and quickly relax tension that we may be experiencing from these unpleasant feelings.  Mindfulness is a way to recognize and cope with overwhelming feelings  so you can focus on the present.    

Mindfulness is not….

Mindfulness is not a magic solution.  It will not remove your stress or cause you to feel completely and utterly relaxed for all time.  But if practiced often, it will help you manage your stress and unpleasant experiences so you are not overwhelmed by them.  

Try this activity

This mindfulness technique teaches you to hone in on your senses and forces you to really focus on each sense.  You may find yourself noticing things you’ve never paid attention to before.  Think about how often you drive home and don’t even realize your surroundings or that you passed a certain marker on your way until you are already home.  Mindfulness helps you soak in your surroundings and be present with them.  

For this exercise you will need to be in a comfortable position.  Spend several minutes 2-3 on each step, some may require more focus and more practice.  

5 Things You See:

Get comfortable and begin observing your surroundings.  Try to focus on 5 things in the room around you.  Make a mental note of what you can see.  You may notice a mark on the floor you’ve never seen or vibrant colors you haven’t realized were there.  

4 Things You Hear:  

Focus on what you can hear.  Really listen to the noises around you.  Try to block every other thought out of your mind and just really focus on sounds.  Can you hear the hum of the heat/air unit?  Is there a distant sound of cars passing?  Maybe you can hear a clock ticking in a room closeby.  

3 Things You Feel:

For this step, I want you to notice sensations against your body.  What can you feel?  Work from your toes up if you need to.  Can you feel the pressure of your feet on the floor?  Do you feel the seat against your body?  Can you feel air against your skin?  Maybe you notice unpleasant sensations like a tag scratching your neck.  Just sit and feel for a couple minutes.  

2 Things You Smell:

This sense will take a little more focus as you differentiate smells in the room or area you are in.  What can you smell?  If you can only smell 1 thing, don’t give up.  Keep your focus and really channel your nose to pick up smells.  

1 Thing You Taste:

For the last step, you will be focusing on your taste buds.  Just focus on what you taste at the moment.  It may be pleasant or unpleasant.  Maybe you are tasting the remnants of your previous meal or drink.  You may taste stale breath.  Focus and taste the sensation.

Once you have moved through each step, think about the senses you noticed and what got your attention the most.  You may have noticed things you have never realized were present.  Maybe you began to smell or taste something you hadn’t noticed 15 minutes ago.  When we really take time to focus on things, we can be enlightened.  Now pay attention to how you feel.  Are you more relaxed?  Is your mind clearer?  Once you have completed this exercise, you can either decide to engage in another activity or go right back to what you were doing before.  If you become stressed and agitated, take another break and try this exercise again.  

Mindfulness takes practice, so use this activity often to build good coping habits.  Mindfulness can be done anywhere but I recommend practicing it while you shower  and when you are lying in bed.  These are times our minds often wander onto stressful thoughts and we can become tense and frustrated very quickly.  

Let go of the stress, and enjoy the present.

Dayna

P.S.  To receive my free list of Top 5 Coping Skills Your Teen Can Use Now, Click Here.

BACK TO SCHOOL TIME!!!

Keep a lookout for an awesome resource I am adding for parents to help with the stress of getting your kids Back To School!

I have reached out to parents and teachers to ask them what the Biggest Struggles are with Back to School!

I will be offering tips on making this transition Stress free and Drama Free!

If you would like to make sure I address issues you need help with, then leave a comment below and I will try to include it in my offer!

Don’t forget to check back in a few days to get a chance to sign up for this opportunity to start the school year off Stress Free and Drama Free!

3 SIMPLE STEPS FOR A STRESS FREE MORNING

Back to School Morning Routines

So here it is!!!  Resources to take the stress out of this Back To School season!  For some of us, the season has begun and for those few lucky ones, you are right on the brink of start days.  Here are 3 Simple Steps to get your mornings flowing without the stress!

1. Do as much as you can the night before!

•  Look at folders and sign forms as soon as you get home!!!!
• Kids need to empty Lunchboxes and refill water bottles for tomorrow.
• Have a set time for homework!!!! I cannot stress this one enough. (Do this ASAP to avoid the fight…look for future info on trouble shooting homework) 
• Pack that backpack up and hang it or sit it by your exit. Older kids can do this without help!
• Showers before bed—we like to do this while mom is cooking supper.
• Send kids to lay out clothes and shoes—hair bows—earrings—socks— (trust me on the socks!)
• Check the lunch calendar for the next day-mine hangs on the refrigerator for easy access.

1. Did you send lunch money this week? If not, then do this now. 2. Have your kids pack their lunch boxes- all you have to do in the morning is add a cold drink and a sandwich if you don’t like soggy.

2. Get in Bed On Time! Sleep is important!! Children need 10-12 hours of sleep for healthy brain development and growth.

• Take a few minutes to connect with your child.
• Help!  My child won’t sleep! (post about this coming soon)
• Go to bed!

Bedtime is a great time for connecting with kids. This is often the time they are ready to share thoughts/worries/concerns/exciting moments of their day…Keep the lights off and snuggle up or sit on their bed for a few minutes. *Warning* This is not a time for disciplining or lectures…just listening!

Sleep is important for you too! Go to bed early enough to get 7-8 hours of sleep.

*Unless you have a baby this is doable*

3. Rise Early!

• Please do not let your children be the ones to wake you for school! They need guidance! Get up early enough to be prepared for whatever the morning may throw at you—a child who can’t seem to wake up—a belly ache that sends them running to the bathroom—a child refusing to get ready—I could go on and on here. Get up and get ready before you have to wake them.
• Wake them up at a set time each day! Do it in a way that sets the tone for the day. No yelling or screaming. Please do not pour water on their heads… Wake them in plenty of time to do their own morning routine. Yes they will need a routine too.
• Eat Breakfast! Make sure to feed your child or get them to school early enough for Breakfast. A child cannot concentrate on school work with a growling tummy and they are more likely to get in trouble due to distraction of hunger.
• Grab backpacks (These should already be packed waiting by the door.) and head out the door!
• If your child is a car rider…Make sure there is time to walk your child in without hurrying them (if needed). You will be glad you got up early and got yourself ready before you left.
• Send them off with a hug, kiss, and “I love YOU!”

Remember Rome was not built in a day, and your routine will take some time to get used to.

Make this routine YOURS each day and your stress will be gone! If you need support, comment below so I can help you trouble shoot your routine. Remember Rome was not built in a day, and your routine will take some time to get used to. Don’t make these simple steps Hard! If you are struggling overall with parenting, call me today to talk about Parent Coaching at 615-683-1111.

JUST IN TIME FOR BACK TO SCHOOL!!!

I am BURSTING AT THE SEAMS ready to share all these Back to School resources for Parents that I’ve been working on!  My wheels have been spinning and I have been writing and creating, writing and creating!  

Writing and Creating here!

I will be providing tips on how to help Teen Anxiety.   Back to School resources for parents.  Tips on Parenting children.

I’m in the midst of getting a new website up and going.  We are in the draft stages now and time is ticking down until it is up and going.  I cannot wait!

This new website is going to open the doors for my ability to share more with you and to provide Parenting tips, Parenting Support, resources YOU need for YOUR Teens and Children!

Just a sneak peak at what I’ve been working on:

Free Routine Checklist!

My Top 5 Tips for Battling Anxiety

3-2-1 Approach to Take Control of Your Anxiety

5 Reasons Groups Rock!

…And my Back to School Series:

Homework!

• How to Deal with Teen Anxiety

  

  Teen Anxiety

• Get Homework Done without The Drama
• Reasons Teens Need Boundaries with Social Media
• 3 Simple Steps for a Stress Free Morning

Don’t see what you are looking for?  Leave a comment with a Parenting Struggle you would like help with, and I will provide you with some resources.

P.S. I am in the beginning phase of marketing for Groups!

Groups Now Open For Enrollment!

Groups Now Open For Enrollment:

Teen Girls Group (ages 15-17)

Life skills for Young Adults Group (ages 17-20)

Parent Coaching Group (Parents of Young Children)

If any of these groups sound appealing to you, call or email me for more information!

Can’t wait to hear from you!