Teens

Just In Time for Back to School!!!

I am BURSTING AT THE SEAMS ready to share all these Back to School resources for Parents that I’ve been working on!  My wheels have been spinning and I have been writing and creating, writing and creating!   (more…)

3 Simple Steps for a Stress Free Morning

Back to School Morning Routines

So here it is!!!  Resources to take the stress out of this Back To School season!  For some of us, the season has begun and for those few lucky ones, you are right on the brink of start days.  Here are 3 Simple Steps to get your mornings flowing without the stress!

1. Do as much as you can the night before!

  •  Look at folders and sign forms as soon as you get home!!!!
  • Kids need to empty Lunchboxes and refill water bottles for tomorrow.
  • Have a set time for homework!!!! I cannot stress this one enough. (Do this ASAP to avoid the fight…look for future info on trouble shooting homework) book-15584_1280
  • Pack that backpack up and hang it or sit it by your exit. Older kids can do this without help!
  • Showers before bed—we like to do this while mom is cooking supper.
  • Send kids to lay out clothes and shoes—hair bows—earrings—socks— (trust me on the socks!)
  • Check the lunch calendar for the next day-mine hangs on the refrigerator for easy access.

1. Did you send lunch money this week? If not, then do this now.
2. Have your kids pack their lunch boxes- all you have to do in the morning is add a cold drink and a sandwich if you don’t like soggy.

child-666137_6402. Get in Bed On Time! Sleep is important!! Children need 10-12 hours of sleep for healthy brain development and growth.

  • Take a few minutes to connect with your child.
  • Help!  My child won’t sleep! (post about this coming soon)
  • Go to bed!

Bedtime is a great time for connecting with kids. This is often the time they are ready to share thoughts/worries/concerns/exciting moments of their day…Keep the lights off and snuggle up or sit on their bed for a few minutes. *Warning* This is not a time for disciplining or lectures…just listening!

Sleep is important for you too! Go to bed early enough to get 7-8 hours of sleep.

*Unless you have a baby this is doable*

3. Rise Early!alarm-clock-2132276_640

  • Please do not let your children be the ones to wake you for school! They need guidance! Get up early enough to be prepared for whatever the morning may throw at you—a child who can’t seem to wake up—a belly ache that sends them running to the bathroom—a child refusing to get ready—I could go on and on here. Get up and get ready before you have to wake them.
  • Wake them up at a set time each day! Do it in a way that sets the tone for the day. No yelling or screaming. Please do not pour water on their heads… Wake them in plenty of time to do their own morning routine. Yes they will need a routine too.
  • Eat Breakfast! Make sure to feed your child or get them to school early enough for Breakfast. A child cannot concentrate on school work with a growling tummy and they are more likely to get in trouble due to distraction of hunger.
  • Grab backpacks (These should already be packed waiting by the door.) and head out the door!
  • If your child is a car rider…Make sure there is time to walk your child in without hurrying them (if needed). You will be glad you got up early and got yourself ready before you left.
  • Send them off with a hug, kiss, and “I love YOU!”

Remember Rome was not built in a day, and your routine will take some time to get used to.

Make this routine YOURS each day and your stress will be gone! If you need support, comment below so I can help you trouble shoot your routine. Remember Rome was not built in a day, and your routine will take some time to get used to. Don’t make these simple steps Hard! If you are struggling overall with parenting, call me today to talk about Parent Coaching at 615-683-1111.

Back to School Time!!!

Keep a lookout for an awesome resource I am adding for parents to help with the stress of getting your kids Back To School!

I have reached out to parents and teachers to ask them what the Biggest Struggles are with Back to School!

I will be offering tips on making this transition Stress free and Drama Free!

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If you would like to make sure I address issues you need help with, then leave a comment below and I will try to include it in my offer!

Don’t forget to check back in a few days to get a chance to sign up for this opportunity to start the school year off Stress Free and Drama Free!

Help Me Help Your Teen

Does your teen struggle with anxiety and constant worry over tests?

Grades?

Friendships?

Feeling they never are good enough?

Future Goals?

College?

Pleasing everyone?

Take this quiz to help me create resources that will help your teen.

Help Me Help Your Teen! 

Take The Survey Below!!!

Teens Struggling with Anxiety

New Resource Added for Teen Moodiness

Do you sometimes feel like your teen’s mood is unbearable?  You’ve probably heard them say “I can’t help it”…or maybe you’ve thought “she is out of control!”

Did you know that we have the ability to control our thoughts?  Our feelings?  And how we react?  Therefore controlling our Moodiness!

Below is a NEW RESOURCE for you to use with your teen to help GAIN CONTROL of your teen’s moodiness!!

Our brain is a very complex organ in our body that controls everything we do.

We can remap how we approach things by making changes to how we think.

In this worksheet, I provide you with instructions on how to walk through your thoughts, feelings, and actions/reactions so your teen can GAIN CONTROL of their mood.  I also provide an example for you!

This tool is developed for teens but can be used by anyone struggling with moodiness.

Download it now  or find it anytime on my Self Help page.

If you need help with your teen, call me at 615-683-1111 for a free 15 minute phone consultation.

 

 

My Top 5 Tips for Battling Anxiety

Here is a round-up of my top 5 tips most helpful for you and your battle against Anxiety! 

1. Deep Breathing:  I teach deep breathing, AKA belly breathing A LOT in my practice because it is so effective and easy to do.  Click here to see how I teach this technique to children.

2. Mindfulness: This is a post I wrote a while back on my 3-2-1 approach to fighting off anxiety.

3. Change Your Thoughts: I teach teens and children this technique.  Our thoughts are what drive our feelings.  Our feelings drive our behavior/reaction, and the circle continues. Instead of thinking “this is going to be a horrible day”, change your thought to a positive one!   You could change it to “OK-this is a new day, and I’m going to make it a good one.”—“That was a bad dream, but it wasn’t real.”—“1 bad thing is not going to ruin my whole day!”  See how I did that?  More on this later…

2. Apps!    Click here to find apps that you can use as tools while you are working through your anxiety and depression. (Note: These are not to replace therapy, if needed, but to aide you in your ability to overcome your struggles.)

5. Talk it out.  This may be with a friend or a therapist.  Having meaningful connections can ease so many issues we struggle with.  You need someone in your life who gets you and who accepts you.  If you have no support, let me help you find it.

Don’t fight this alone!  I am here to help.

Call 615-683-1111 to set up a free 30 minute phone consultation.

Must Read Parenting Book

 

Raisingkids

I’m a little late posting this as I have had my nose in multiple parenting books.  Raising Kids You Actually Like by Sheila Wray Gregoire is a good read.  It’s basic parenting that we all need to be reminded of.  The way we used to be parented has been forgotten and many parents today feel they lack these basic tools to discipline and train their children.  “We have more education and we’ve forgotten.  Provide structure. Provide stability by loving your spouse. Care for your children’s bodies by feeding them and putting them to bed.” (Loc 69)

 

I would like to share a few excerpts from her book…I love her humor and candidness.  If you’ve never read anything of Sheila’s, I encourage you to check out her blog at To Love Honor and Vacuum where she gives advice on marriage, parenting, and sex from a Christian view.

I will let her book do the talking here:

“Power struggles with smaller children are easier to defeat than power struggles with teenagers.  Yet too many parents give up in the early years…” (Loc 101)

“I once read about a dad who dialed 911 when he discovered that his teenage daughter had posted naked pictures of herself on Facebook.  He was desperate, and to him this was an emergency.  The dispatcher, though, wasn’t amused.  She wasn’t in the position to do anything about it, because she wasn’t the girl’s parent.  He was.” (Loc 98)

“…children can’t obey if no rules are laid down.” (Loc 98)

“If we don’t stress discipline when the children are young, then children don’t internalize self-discipline, or values, or even simple politeness.” (Loc 111)

If you need encouragement to remind you that you have the skills and tools to parent your children, then this ebook is a great way to motivate you and remind you that you can do this.

As a parent, we have the job of training, molding, and shaping the lives of our children to become strong, healthy, successful adults.  That’s what we are doing here.  Making responsible adults.  However, if we aren’t disciplining them and nurturing them the way we are intended to, they become irresponsible adults who lack motivation and struggle to develop healthy relationships.  The power is in the parenting.

 

Happy Reading,

Dayna

 

 

My Words of Advice on Difficult Conversations with Your Teen

I’ve been doing LOTS of work with teens these past 2 years in my practice.  Prior to that I worked with teens, but this time around is different.  I get to see them for who they are.  I get their trust and their innermost fears, desires, and regrets.  I am blessed to be doing what I love and helping these young people.

My problem is, I am seeing that as a society, we are failing these young people.  We have created a world (with our high tech gadgets, impersonal social society, distant relationships with God if you even believe in God, sex crazed media, and poor values) that is difficult to maneuver for immature minds and fiercely hormonal bodies.  We have very high expectations for them with little back up to support them.

I have parents come to me crying and worrying their girls are going to become pregnant or engage in sex.  The sad thing is that I see kids who are so mixed up in their beliefs because of what they see in the world. How can we ensure what we are teaching them about sex is what they understand when that is all they see around them?  Have you seen some of the television shows geared towards this age group?  Seriously, have you?  If you aren’t watching what your teens are watching, I advise you to check it out.  And yes, these shows are on Channels like Nickelodeon.  Networks devoted toward children and teens are airing shows that, if you have Christian values in your home, you better be monitoring that TV.

Another question I often get from parents is how their child can say they are “bisexual”.  I’m seeing this become a trend with young people.  They are confused about their feelings for their best friends.  Friends that are the same sex.  Yes, they still like the opposite sex, but now they think they like the same sex too.  I find myself pondering on this dilemma often because it’s becoming more and more prevalent.  Most of the young people I see this in are struggling to find love from anyone.  They’ve been hurt by people who should love them the most, and they seek affection anywhere they can find it.  And again, I’m seeing that this world is gearing people towards acceptance of this type of culture.  Where in the past, it was an abomination to be “gay” and no one talked about it, and now that’s all you hear about.  People are on television portraying same sex relationships on almost every show, female artists are singing about how they “kissed and girl” and liked it.  And here we are wondering why our teens are becoming so confused about their sexuality.  So my second piece of advice is: keep monitoring that TV but you also need to monitor their music.  Music is a necessity, I believe, for most teens.  It is how they relate to themselves and the world around them.  However, if they are listening to music that sounds good to them but the lyrics are conflicting with what you teach them, that is an equation for disaster.

Finally, let’s talk about how you as the parent/guardian can support them.  Young people often hide things from their parents for fear of getting into trouble.  We tell them to talk to us about what’s going on in their lives or to talk to us (parents) when they are confused about things they want or are being pressured to do.  However, when they come to us with this information as we have encouraged them to do, we then begin lecturing them and badgering them to tell us everything.  Sometimes consequences are administered to prevent them from continuing to do something deemed inappropriate or to prevent them from engaging in something they are thinking about.  So in their minds, they are being punished for doing exactly what we want them to do, which is to come to us with their problems.  I believe some parents wonder why their children come to me with honesty but won’t tell them anything.  It’s because they know I am not going to judge them and I’m not going to lecture them.  That isn’t to say I haven’t responded in this way before, but if I do, you can believe they are going to shut down.  So my advice to you is to give them guidance, but also you need to LISTEN to them.  Listen to their fears, their conflict, their ideas about the issue.  Many teens know the right thing to do, but they need to talk it out with someone to ensure they know what the right thing is.  At times, they aren’t planning to do what you think they are, some of them are very wise, but they need to talk about it.  You can react negatively to this, and a teen who was not planning to act on their thoughts will as an act of defiance because you didn’t trust them.  I’ve seen this happen.  Listen to them!  Ask them questions about what they think on the issue.  Listen to their thoughts.

My last piece of advice is to talk about issues.  Talk to your teens.  Don’t dodge topics on sex, alcohol/drugs, or other difficult conversations.  If you do, you are losing a chance to ensure they are making sound decisions.  And start early…These issues are not beginning at ages 15 and 16 anymore.  They are beginning in the preteens.  Ages that, in my time, you never talked about it.  They are being pressured before puberty hits sometimes.  Once again, this just shows how much we are failing our young people when their once young ages were only worried about Barbie dolls and transformers, and now they are already hit with information about sex and drugs.

This post is not meant to discourage you but to wake you up to these issues.  Be the parent!  Take control of the direction your children are driving towards.  Don’t say to yourself: “it’s her phone and she has it locked”; “I don’t know the password to her FB page and he has me blocked”; “they stay in their rooms with the door closed”.  No excuses, take control before someone else does and you lose them to the things you want to prevent.

We have to fight for our children so they can live strong adult lives.  We have to advocate for their needs.  Let’s do this together.